The greatest trick the devil ever pulled...

...was waking me up on Sunday morning.

But I get ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning.

I have a daily ritual at my new job. I sit down at my computer and check a few web sites for news and e-mail. Lastly, I check the blogs; Condon, Smith, Toms, Weng, Jann, Mine. Yeah... I don't know why but I often find myself going to my own blog and wondering if anything new will be there... so I think I'll make that happen and tell you another story.

I saw GardenState at the Ritz on Saturday night (It was awesome!). I arrived home at 12:30AM (sunday morning) with a full stomach and sleepy eyes. Nothing was going to keep me from getting right into my bed and falling asleep. But oh no! My bed has no sheets! I washed them earlier but forgot to dry them. CRAP. Ok, so I sat up watching Samuel L. Jackson say "Hold on to your butts." (name the movie) until 1:30. I wasn't alone in all of this. Someone else was in the house also, but she shall remain nameless. No, let's give her a name. THE DEVIL. no, wait... The devil already has a part in my story...so let's call her...um... Jennifer Love Hewitt. Heh, heh...alright!

So anyway, Jen and I were watching until 1:30AM. That was when we heard the sweetest sound in the world...the beeping noise of liberation. I mean, the sound your dryer makes when it's done. So skipping forward some, we went to bed.

Now this is where The Devil enters the story. You might be wondering where my roommate was during all of this. He was off with his girlfriend....um...we'll call her Britney Spears. When he leaves the house, he sometimes locks his bedroom door. No, it's not that odd considering that we only recently got a front door that could close...and still don't have keys for it. So suffice to say, Matt's door was locked.

So here's the scenario. I was sleeping peacefully, next to Jennifer Love Hewitt. I was probably dreaming about having to eat 64 slices of individually wrapped american cheese. When suddenly, I was ripped from my slumber by the most horrible noise! It was an incessant beeping noise. Not loud enough to actually hurt you, but certainly loud enough to keep me awake FOREVER. It took a minute to get my bearings...It was 5:30AM and the sound was an alarm clock....but where was it? Oh, I'll tell you where it was! Behind locked doors! Oh SNAP!

It would seem that the devil had snuck into Matt's room and turned his alarm on. So I got up. Walked to his door. No dice...wouldn't open. I cursed...Jenn laughed at me. Then I had a bright idea, which is very impressive considering my mental state. I happened to know which one of our breaker switches controlled Matt's room....I'd just switch it off! Brilliant! Unfortunately, the Devil also put a back-up battery in Matt's alarm clock. I cursed...Jen laughed some more.

Plan B was to go outside, and break in through Matt's window. So I ripped his screen in twain (yeah, you heard me), popped it out, then reached triumphantly inside to fiddle with the clock. I hit the off button. It stopped. I went back to bed. Great story right? Well it's not over...

You see, The Devil also switched the buttons on Matt's clock...so I only hit the snooze button. The beeping started again...I woke up...I cursed...and Jen just laughed at me. I went back outside. There was going to be no mistakes! I climbed in the window...grabbed the clock....ripped it out of the wall....ripped out the battery, and threw it on the ground. Game - Set - Match. Rob: 1...Clock: 2. :-(

I don't think I had ever been so angry in my life. But I can look back at it and laugh. So the moral of the story is: whenever life throws difficulties at you, don't expect any help from a woman...even if she is Jennifer Love Hewitt