Matt fought the pig...

...and the pig won.

Here we go. Day one of Condon's apply named "The Daily Show" (Please don't sue me John Stewart). As promised...I'm going to tell you a tale...a tale of heroism...a tale of mirth...a tale about running over a pig.


So this happened a few years ago. Some of you may have heard the tale. Matt was driving home late one night. He was out in the boonies of Tabernacle or Shamong. He was pretty tired. His eyes were droopy. Then all of a sudden something walked into the road! and BAM! he hit it.

Well, Matt got out of his car and inspected the scene. His car was only dented, thank god. But what did he hit? (pretend for a minute that you didn't read the title to this blog). On the side of the road, lay a pig. Probably dead...he wasn't gonna walk over and find out. So what did matt do? The same thing anyone would have done. He high-tailed it home! And slept peacefully.

It seemed everything would be ok. Matt had dreams of grand food and delectable women (or perhaps grand women and delectable food, but that's neither here nor there). Early in the morning, though, his father woke him up very abruptly.

Matt's dad: "Matt, you have to get up. There are some police downstairs that want to talk to you."

This is just about the time Matt crapped his pants.

So after cleaning up and getting a new pair of pants on, Matt walked downstairs.

He found 2 officers standing in the living room. They knew he had hit a pig, which was quite an offense. The pig had belonged to a local farmer (it had run away from the farm that morning) and was worth quite a lot of money. But there was one thing Matt couldn't figure out...how had the police known that HE ran over the pig? There was no one around to see it.


Well ya know how they knew?




...because the pig squealed...


(joke courtesy of Matt Weng)