Oh it's a sad day for blogging...

I'm slowly being trained to do my boss' job. It's like a project manager / business analyst / shmoozing type of thing. He's moving on to more important tasks. So, I generally sit in on meetings so that clients will get used to my face. This is terribly boring for me because I have not idea what anyone is talking about.

Yesterday, my boss said that he wanted me in a meeting so that I could help keep the conversation going. I think he was making fun of me (not sure how he was making fun of me, but i'll figure it out)...but it got me thinking. What do I do if the conversation stops? What can I say? Tell a joke? Ask about family? It got me thinking how certain ShawneeGroup people would handle this situation. Today, we're going to discuss (not really discuss since I'm doing all the typing) what some of us might say to business clients to keep the conversation going.

Situation #1:
Your boss needs to pull up some information on his computer before he can continue.

Solution: Ask the client about his personal life.

Joe Brescia - "So, you guys have children?"

(they pull out photos from wallets for you to see)

Joe Brescia - "Man, this is your daughter? 17, eh? I'd like to cover her TPS reports..."
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Situation #2:
Your boss wants a client to think that he's done a lot of work on a project. Every time they ask him a question, he's going to turn to you and re-ask the question to you. You're expected to say something like "We finished that this morning." or "I'm waiting to hear back from our developers on that."

Solution:
Boss - "Where are we on the Kentucky figures?"

Chris Condon - "You're a Kentucky figure!" (Chris then hits his boss in the face with a stress ball)

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Situation #3:
At a business lunch, your boss isn't feeling well. He runs off to the bathroom for what will probably be 5 to 10 minutes.

Solution:
Toms - "..." (see, she doesn't say anything because she's too busy biting the hair off of her arms)
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You know, as I type this, I realize it's not funny at all to shawneegroup people and probably doesn't make any sense to my DE readers (all one of her). Oh, I'm a sham! How can I hope to bring the funny every day when I can't do it now?? I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 1 hour a week with which to get funky...

So I'm going to throw a joke on the end so you can walk away without feeling like I've totally wasted your time...

An old man, in a nursing home, declares to a nurse one day "My penis has died."

"Oh, that's a terrible shame." says the nurse.

The next day, the man is walking up and down the hallways with his penis hanging out of his pants.

"Hey, what are you doing? You need to put that away, sir." exclaims the nurse.

"I told you yesterday," says the man, "My penis died."

"Yeah, so what?" asks the nurse.

"Well," says the man, "Today is the viewing."