Why Red Bull is better than a woman

The other day, our E-marketing director came to my cubicle and noticed that I was drinking a Red Bull...

director: Ya know, those things only have 80mg of caffeine in them. You'd get more from a cup of starbucks coffee.

me: I know, but I don't pay for these. My company gives them to me by the case.

*Rob opens his cabinet to reveal 24 cans of Red Bull*

me: It's part of my contract. I get all the free Red Bull I want.

director: Wow... your boss is like a drug dealer. Pull em in. Get em hooked. And put em to work.


I've been drinking a lot of Red Bull lately. It makes me really productive. I like it. So, in honor of my love for caffeine, here is 10 reasons why Red Bull is better than a woman:

10. Red Bull never asks me if it looks fat

9. Cost of a can of Red Bull: $2 or less. Cost of a night on the town: considerably more

8. Redbull doesn't hog the bathroom putting on make-up before we go out

7. Red Bull is "supportive" when I need to work late

6. Red Bull never wants to have "The Talk" with me

5. Red Bull doesn't gain weight as it gets older

4. I can buy a whole case of RedBull and the cans don't get jealous of each other

3. Red Bull never steals the blankets at night

2. Red Bull helps me focus and become alert. Women help me along to an early grave.

1. Red Bull gives me wings - a woman gives me a ball and chain