Men of the world, hear my call! I have climbed the mountain and heard the voice of God! And he has given me sage advice about women! Now, I warn you...this may come as a surprise. But it seems that everything I knew about women was wrong...
I know, I know....it's shocking. So let me explain. Let me share my newfound knowledge. Let me help you avoid costly future mistakes.
Let's start at the beginning.
We all know that men are not cute. We're manly, intimidating, and downright fierce. Never Cute. But ya know what I learned? A lot of women don't like being called cute either! When you call a girl cute, it's telling them that they're not beautiful.... not pretty... not sexy... it's basically comparing them to a puppy. Blows your mind, right?
We try our best to be creative. We use different words to describe how looking at a woman is like watching the sun set on the beach. But it turns out that we only really need one word. Beautiful. Say it once. Say it every day. Just make sure you say it.
Ok, there's more. When women get dressed up, we try to really expound on our compliments. Show them that we think they're Super Beautiful when they dress up. But, fellas, we got it all wrong. Contrary to popular belief, we should be complimenting them when they aren't dressed up AT ALL. Freaky huh? I have it from a good source (yes, a woman) that if you compliment a woman when she's just getting up in the morning then they really love that. It's like true love.
Alright...I know your heads are spinning right now, so I won't throw any more curve balls at you. Let's end the session here.
And just on a side note: My roommate just ran into my bedroom and threw a snowball at me. This means war!
Monday, December 05, 2005
Cute is a 4 letter word
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4 comments:
Also, calling a girl "Cutie" just gives her the creeps. Call her "honey", "babe" that kind of stuff. But never "cutie". Bleh.
I stick with an old stand-by.
Dear, you look....scrumtrilescent.
just to clarify... girls enjoy to be called beautiful even when they may not FEEL beautiful - BUT calling her beautiful at those times doesn't necessarily mean it's "true love", but if it's sincere... and you find someone beautiful any time... then you're well on your way. obviously there is much more to true love than finding someone attractive.
thank you, changing the world - 1 man at a time.
You just now figured out that girls don't like to be called cute? Wish I had known or I would have tried to enlighten you earlier, just as I have for countless other males who have made that mistake.
And as for the morning compliments, it really depends on the woman. Some of us would prefer that you say nothing other than "the coffee's ready." But some would like you to recite a poem about the vision of loveliness that she is with bed-head and puffy eyes.
Basically, you can't win.
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