The loss of a friend

I know, I haven't posted in a while. Normally, I'd say that I've just been really busy with work and life.... and that's true. But there's more. Last week, a friend died.

I'd like to preface this by saying that even though I had only known him for a few months, his death hit me very hard. That's what this post is ultimately about... but let's start with the important part.

His name was Benjamin Holder Chorney. He was a year older than me. Married, with an infant daughter named Gwendolyn.

Last Monday, we had a PADA game. Ben and his wife Emily were on my team. We had lost every game of the season. Our team was good... but we could never connect quite right. However, we all got along really well. And that night was our best game of the season. We fought hard. And it hurt to lose, but we didn't feel bad about it because we all tried our best.

The next day, Ben died in a car accident. I still don't know the details.

The service was Friday. Place was packed. Everyone who had ever played on a team with him was there. That was the kind of guy Ben was. Everyone liked him.

In a few weeks, he was supposed to be the Best Man at his best friend's wedding (the same friend who had been Ben's best man a few years prior).

He was young. He had a good job, a wife, an infant daughter, and tons of friends. Because he worked in the IT field, I was planning on asking him to join our company in Delaware. On a Monday night he played a game. In a few weeks he was going to a wedding. But on a Tuesday night he died.

There was no warning. No dramatic death scene. No final moments to say goodbye to loved ones. Just sudden unexpected death.

It didn't have anything to do with whether he deserved it or not. God doesn't spare the good people from tragedy. Fate doesn't care if you had something to do the next day.

And that's why it hit me so hard. Because at any given moment, any one of us could die.

What bothers me even more is that this won't change how I live my life. I'll still take things for granted. I still won't live life to its fullest. I'll still make the same mistakes.

This week, while I was away on a business trip, our team played our first game without Ben. They played one man short for the first point, in honor of him. They all wore black arm bands, and some found orange shorts (to match the kind that Ben wore to every game). And on that night, we won our first game.

My mind is wandering too much now. So I'll stop. Here is a link to the obituary.

http://www.legacy.com/Philly/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=18693242