My Ishtar...

Anyone who knows me should know that I watch a lot of movies. People question my taste in films because there are a lot of movies that are pretty bad that I like. For me, I just like movies. I try to be a fan and not a critic. If it can keep me entertained for 2 hours then I'm happy with it.

But there's one movie that I need to warn the rest of the world about. It's possibly the WORST movie that my eyes have ever gazed upon.

The Fountain.

I had been excited to see it. A story about a man and wife who discover the fountain of youth and live forever, the movie follows them in 3 different time periods. It sounded great!

My first clue should have been the director; Darren Aronofsky. He did Pi and Requiem for a Dream... so I should have known that this would be a super depressing movie. But that's ok. Depressing movies can still be good movies.

So anyway, the movie jumps around between the 3 time periods, not really developing any of them. Then things happen in the movie that don't make sense. And then other things happen that make even less sense. And by the end none of it made any real sense. If you tried, you could explain the symbolism that was going on... but it was REALLY vague.

I could go on and on here about how I learned that Aronofsky wrote the movie himself by taking his love of Mayans, the fountain of youth, and something else, and mashing them all together into one story. And I could also tell you about how he kept losing his funding and had to re-shoot the movie with almost no money. But I'll leave those details out.

I just wanted to warn everyone. Stay away.

Of course, I almost want someone else to watch it just to see if I was way off. Maybe I got a random DVD that cut out a lot of scenes. Maybe J-Love slipped drugs in my pizza that night and I was too coked out to remember the movie correctly.

One can only hope.