I like my women like my coffee...

...ground up.

As I sat in the interview for this job, hands sweating, thoughts racing, feet dancing uncontrollably, I was given a promise. At the time it seemed idle...but has proven to be true. You see, Stewart told me that he would buy all of the Red Bull that I could drink.

*camera fades out...then back in on Family guy*

*Man holding a sign that reads "Free Tibet"*

Peter: "I'll take it!"
*Peter runs to a telephone booth and dials a number*

Peter: "Hello, China? I have something you want...but it's gonna cost you. *pause* That's right...ALL the tea."

*camera fades back to blog*

He didn't know, at the time, that this promise would be his final undoing. Let me explain.

Me and Redbull go together like Condon and Gatorade... like chinese people and rice... like Brescia and under-age girls. I love the stuff...with or without vodka. For a while, I was buying my own cans...but then I was handed a gift as great as, well, as great as some great thing that you want but don't have. I got a company credit card.

And what did I do with this new found wealth? I went to BJ's Wholesale club and got me a case of the sweetest nectar on earth. I think if I save all of the cans and send 100 in to the company then they'll mail me the official Red Bull I.V. so I can hook it right to my veins while at work.

In case you were wondering, no, Red Bull doesn't give you wings. It just leaves you with a sweet sweet chemical addiction that you never want to lose. If Red Bull were a president it would be Bull-braham Lincoln (what movie am I referencing in a round-about way?). Ok, that's all for today.

If you have some time, check out this link. It's a rant that a friend of a friend of a friend wrote at her school. It's a toast to the "nice guys" of the world. It's written very well.