the funny?

Person 1: "It was raining in the city...a hard rain...the kind of rain that made..."

Person 2: "Data!"

Person 1: "Sorry, sir."

Person 2: "What's this on my view screen?"

Person 1: "It's a blog, sir. Rob Harford's blog. I've been monitoring it for updates."

Person 2: "What the devil is a blog?"

Person 1: "It's like your Captain's log, sir. But in the past, they used it to 'bring the funny' "

Person 2: "Well, I've been looking at this one for some time now and it doesn't seem funny at all."

Person 1: "He's doing his best, sir. He's been very busy at work, and it's hard to bring the funny sometimes."

Person 2: "Not good enough, damnit! Not good enough! We have to save this boy. In my youth, I was quite the mirth maker. Slide over, Mr. Data. I'm driving this blog."


*fade back to reality*

Location: A dark, out of the way, night club in NYC.
Time: Late.

*Rob walks out onto a dimly lit stage. He can already hear the booos and yells of "you suck!" But he has to do it anyway. When you fall off the horse, you have to get back on. You have to keep trying. You have to work hard....until you bring the funny again.*


"Hi everyone. It's great to be back here at the Pergatory Theater. I just flew in from DE and boy are my arms tired."

No drum roll. Even the band is hoping for me to fail.

"I've begun relating life to other objects. For instance. People are like light bulbs. Ya ever notice that? See, women are like those new flourescent energy-saver bulbs. When you turn one on it takes a while to warm up...but then it'll stay on for years. While men are more like Christmas lights. We're only up once a year and in a string of 200 lights, there's always a few that don't work."

A few claps from women. A few chuckles from men. Ok, I can do this.

"No, but seriously, I love women. I like women like I like my coffee.... tied up in my trunk."

Ok, the guys liked that one. Keep em going.

"I've got my wife trained pretty well. She washes my clothes, cleans the house, and has dinner ready for me every day at 5pm. Now if only I could teach her to fetch the newspaper and my slippers then we could get rid of the dog."

The men love me! ...but the women hate me. Ok, let's turn it around.

"Now let's be fair. I'd be in pretty big trouble without my wife. If she wasn't around, I couldn't even pick out clothes to wear. Without my wife, I'd still be walking around in ripped jeans, with a Flock-of-seagulls hair cut. I'd still be high-fiving guys, and smacking women on the butt. Boy, I loved the 80's. But that's all different now. I wear a suit to work, and just shake hands with people. On days when my wife gets mad at me, she gives me clothes to wear that don't match. I mean, I don't know the difference. 'Honey, are you sure this purple tie goes with the brown suit?' 'Oh definitely, dear, it looks very handsome.' "

Some sympathy laughs. I think I have them right where I want them. Time to run.

"Well, folks, I'd love to stay. You've been a great audience. But they're giving me the signal that my time is up. Thanks a lot. I'll be here all week. Tip your waitresses."

**********************
*fade away from reality*
**********************

Person 1: "Is that what you humans call comdey, sir?"

Person2: "Yes, Data. I believe I knocked them dead with that last one. We've done Rob a great service today."

Person 1: "It's time to move on, sir. We have many blogs to monitor today."

Person 2: "Of course, but let's keep an eye on Mr. Harford. He may need us again."


(What you have just witnessed was an escape from reality. A place where the mind wanders. A time to let the creativity flow. You have been inside....the blog-zone.)