Get this Gamblor off my back

Let me ask you a question. Tell me if this situation shows signs that I have a gambling problem.

Once a month, I have a poker game with some DuPont People (I'll skip the details because I wrote about that before). It's a nice friendly game with a $50 buy in. The limits are low enough so that even if you do lose money, it should keep you going a few hours. Well, after a few months, I'm finding that I need to play poker more often. So I did... (flash-back music)

NOTE: The following story is true. The names and places have been changed to protect the innocent.

It was last Thursday. Dirk Powers was just finishing up his day of work at the local Bowling Alley when a colleague walked in. Franklyn Tutankhamon (they call him Frank the Tank). Frank was the manager of the bowling alley...and he was good. Frank could rent a bowling lane to a man with no arms...he was just that smooth.

Anyway, back to the important part. Dirk was restless. His recent successes at a local poker game had him riding high on Gambler's Cloud. He was looking up at the stars, but couldn't see that he was only being held up by wisps of air that could fall apart at any moment. Even if he could have looked down, Dirk wouldn't have stopped. He tasted victory, and it was sweet.

Luckily, Frank the Tank liked to live dangerously. When Dirk asked Frank to go to Atlantic City on a work night, Frank was all for it. Would they lose sleep? Yeah. Would they be tired the next day? Yeah. ...but it was worth it.

So they headed towards the Borgata (spelling?).

If you've never been to this casino, you should be warned. It's like the Hotel California. At first it seems happy and magical, but then you see the people killing beasts so they can eat them. No...wait... I mean there are no exits or clocks. You can stay here for days and not know how much time has passed.

It took Frank and Dirk hours (or maybe days?) to get on a Texas Hold Em table with a low limit. They were feeling the itch and ready to bluff their way to wealth and fame.

Announcer's voice: When we return to VH1's Behind the Gambling, we'll see that only one of the two men were destined to leave happy. (pause for commercial break)

Ok, so where was I? Oh right. At the table. Frank had done this before. He was experienced; a seasoned veteran in the world of casino gambling. But this was Dirk's first time.

They sat down and learned one thing very quickly. In a low-limit game, it was hard to bluff. Against some players it was impossible.

Frank got right into the swing of things. He knew when to hold em and he knew when to fold em. But Dirk was playing loose. Much too loose. King - 5? Jack - 3? Dirk played em all. By midnight, Dirk was way down and Frank was way up. By 12:30AM Dirk was busted (at least of the money that he planned on spending that night). So dirk was done, but Frank kept going. To pass the time, Dirk went upstairs and walked around the Casino. There wasn't much to do when you weren't spending money. He could only watch. He stood and stared at happy people throwing their money into games of chance. And he envied them. He envied their money.

As 2:30 AM came around, Dirk was ready to go home. They had set that as the time that they would both walk away, no matter how well they were doing. But as Dirk came back into the Poker room, Frank didn't want to leave. He was on a major winning streak. So he gave Dirk $20 to sit back down at the table. Dirk knew his luck was low. He hadn't had better than 2-Pair all night. But it was free money and Dirk was tired of walking. So he sat down.

This time, though, things were different. This time, Dirk was getting good cards. He was playing better. He knew what hands should be played and what shouldn't. His $20 became $40....then $60.

At 4:00 AM, they decided it was time to leave. It was a 2 hours drive back home and they needed to be at work in 4 hours.

They arrived home as the sun came up above the horizon. It was Friday. Even though they were tired, Frank and Dirk felt a certain euphoria from that night. Whenever they saw each other after that night they shared a smile. Not because of money won or lost, but because of the adventure (and also because of all the girls in the casino that had huge boobs).



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So anyway, that's my....uh...I mean...Dirk's story. He can't wait to get back to AC to try again. He'll play a tighter game.