I need the ladies man...

Let's talk relationships. They're really hard. You suddenly find yourself in a position where your words and actions directly affect someone else. The Beatles were right when they said that money can't buy you love...and that love is a many splendid thing...love lifts us up where we belong...BUT love is NOT all you need. The next time that you're standing in a book store, deciding whether to buy sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, or Dr. Phil's book about "The Perfect Condiments to help you Swallow your Pride", then I suggest the book. (just for the record, if Paul or Ringo are reading this, I do own the album and it's great.)

I can't directly talk about the main issue here. My reasons are 3-fold. One, it's a relationship issue. We've all seen the episode of the Simpsons where Homer teaches the adult class about marriage, and Marge gets angry at him for divulging all of their private moments. I'll not make the same mistake. Two, the issue hasn't been resolved yet. Quite the contrary, I'm deep in it right now...and yet I'm not going to be able to talk to her for a few days. And three, my literary eloquence is a far cry from...well, from someone who writes eloquently...and so I'm sure I'd put my size 12 foot in my mouth more than once.

What makes couples work? And what kind of relationships last the longest? Why are these such hard questions? In the past 6 months, I've had a chance to observe one couple at great length. We'll call them Larry and Jane Jesterson. I've known these 2 since before they even started dating. Once they got together, it seemed like they fought A LOT. I never thought that they would stay together...and certainly never thought that they would get married. But they did. And one day, long after the honeymoon was a distant memory, I spent some time with them again. I was prepared for a day of listening to them argue....and yet they didn't. Quite the opposite, they are actually acting "cute" with each other all day. It made me want to gag. So, getting to the point. What changed? Did one of them start acting differently? Did they both change? Or maybe was that side of them always there, and I had just never seen it?

Here's a better point. When you're in a relationship, how do you know when to hold em and when to fold em? How many fights does it take before you give up? When you persevere through the bad times, is it because you believe things will get better, or because you don't know when to quit? I used to believe that all it took was 2 people who were willing to work for a good relationship. I thought that it didn't matter how different you were. Hey, differences can be good, right? Maybe there is such a thing as being too different, or even too alike. I don't know. I don't have any of the answers right now. I'll let you know if I ever find them...


And, just so I'm not too depressing today, here's a bad poker joke that might make chris smith giggle, but the rest of you will probably just stare blankly at:

A man wakes up one day and hears a voice in his head say "Sell it all, go to vegas." He ignores the voice as best he can. But throughout the day, it comes back 2 or 3 times. "Sell it all, go to vegas."

The next day, he hears the voice every 10 or 20 minutes. "Sell it all, go to vegas."

And the following day it just keeps repeating it over and over. So finally, the man decides that if he doesn't follow this voice then he might go crazy.

He sells all of his belongings and he goes to Vegas. When he gets there the voice says "Go to the Bellagio." And so he takes a taxi to the Bellagio.

"Sit at a poker table," it says next. And so he does. He sits at the first Texas Hold Em table he can find.

His first hand, the man is dealt pocket Aces.

The voice yells "Go all in!"...and so he does.

Three other people call his bet and the flop comes down as 9 of hearts, 10 of hearts, Jack of hearts.

and the voice in his head says, "fuck!"