End of an era...

Today is a sad day. I've spent the last 2 or 3 days trying to think of a really great blog that would encompass the great loss that I have experienced. I tried writing a poem. It didn't work. I tried pulling a Condon and re-writing the lyrics to American Pie....but it didn't work. Nothing can accurately describe the sheer horror of what I am going to tell you.

But first, let's go back to 2001.


The day I turned 21 was a monumentous occasion. It meant freedom. It meant adult-hood. It meant bars. It meant the Deer Park. You see, right after my birthday, they started something new at the Deer Park. It was on Tuesday nights. It could win you beer and food. It tested your knowledge. It was called QUIZZO. And it was good.

You form a team. Then play 4 rounds of 10 questions. The winning team of each round won a pitcher of beer and the team with the most points at the end of the night won a $50 gift certificate to the bar. They often had rounds of Simpsons questions, or movie quotes, or music lyrics (and the occasional "marriage practices from around the world"). For the first 6 months, we didn't win. There was a big team of nerds that took the prize each week. We called them Team Nemesis. Week after week, they would be just a few points ahead of us. But then one fateful day, we conquered! And we kept winning. Not every week, but often.

For the next 2 years, one of our two teams won each week. No one else could stand up against our Nerd-dom. But slowly, each of our teams shrunk. Boyfriends and girlfriends broke up. People graduated and moved away. Until one day, there were only 2 people on our team... and only 4 on Team Nemesis. So we had an idea. Why not join our evil forces together? So we did. And it was good.

After that, our super team was unbeatable. There wasn't a movie quote, music lyric, or simpsons reference that we couldn't handle. We were Gods among men. We ate free every week, and laughed at those poor souls who challenged us.

But all of that has changed. Because quizzo is dead. We walked into the bar this Tuesday, and a big chalkboard sign foretold our doom. It read "No more quizzo." And it was bad.

In its place, there shall be karaoke. No more free beer. No more free food. Just bad singers. For 3 years I've been going to quizzo every tuesday night. Now I don't know what to do with myself. I question the entire meaning of life. I can hardly find a reason to live. What am I going to do??