I need to talk about a book. Well, a series of books to be exact. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this...maybe today is just a rambling day.
As said by the hilarious Dane Cook, I'm going to Tarantino this story. I'll tell you the end, and then we'll go back and see how we got there.
Ok so here's the end: Robert Jordan is quite possibly the Devil himself, and in the coming weeks I may have to hunt him down and kill him like a dog.
Now let's go back...
...to 2000 or 2001...
While filming a movie with my friends one day, I noticed Lou Jester reading a book. I thought to myself, "Lou is a pretty cool guy...I wonder what he's reading." And there it began. For not only did Lou tell me of that fateful book, but upon me did he place a curse.
Why am I talking like this?
Hm, back to normal. So the book was a part of the Wheel of Time series, by Robert Jordan. I believe that particular book was #5, though I'm not sure anymore. Lou told me of magic and adventure in those pages. He made me want to read it myself. It was then that I bought the first book that would lead to my doom. The Eye of the World.
For those of you who have never heard of the series, it goes like this: The story takes place in a medieval world of knights and kings and magic. Women can learn to control magic and are held in the highest regard. Men who learn magic slowly go mad and must be killed. However, there is a prophecy that one man, who learns magic, will rise to power and eventually stand against the "Dark One" and defeat him. At that same time, he will basically destroy the world. And then life will start over. It's a wheel....a wheel of time. No one knows how many times these same events have occurred. Anyway, the story follows this man that is destined to save and destroy the world. You watch him go from a farm boy to a warrior, wizard, and king.
Ok, moving on. The first few books are pretty good. They flow well. There's a lot of action. But then around book 5, things slow down. Events begin occurring that have no real relevance to the plot. And at the same time, all the women in the story become unbearably annoying. He really does begin to write them worse and worse. For some readers, this isn't a problem. For others, they put the books down and never read them again. I pushed through...and to be honest, I was quite happy through the 9th book. I enjoyed the characters (the men at least) and liked to read about what they were doing.
...but then came book 10. We waited at least 2 years between books 9 and 10. And when it finally arrived, I ran out to get it. And I read it. And it sucked. NOTHING HAPPENED in the entire story. Everyone was sitting around talking. I can't describe to you the rage I felt when finishing that book. It was then that I realized the author has lost his inspiration. He was writing just to make money and stretch the story out. He probably had no idea how to end it.
But wait, there's more. Instead of plodding on to the end, he did the unthinkable. He wrote a prequel. He went back to the freakin beginning and wrote about some of the characters in their childhood. Now in his defense, it's a pretty good book. But that's not the point! He has to freakin finish the story!
Normal men may have given up at this point...but I pushed on. I told myself that I would give Robert Jordan one more chance. I would wait for book 11. I would read it. And if nothing happens in book 11 then I will truly believe that Robert Jordan is possibly the Devil himself, and in the coming weeks I may have to hunt him down and kill him like a dog.
I bought the book last night. Now has come the moment of truth... cross your fingers for me.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Why Robert Jordan is the Devil
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6 comments:
Good luck! As a book person myself, there's nothing worse than the disappointment of a favorite writer going downhill. Well maybe there are worse things. Like getting your arms torn off by a trasher... Anyway, I felt the same way about Jean Auel and her "Earth's Children Series" (it's pretty girlie books, you probably wouldn't like it!). Her first 4 books were amazing! I waited about 5 years for the 5th book and it sucked ass! But I will buy the 6th book when it finally comes out and pray for her redemption.
thank god I couldn't get past page 100 of the first book...I'd be really pissed at you :)
Man! You filmed a movie with your friends! That's SOOOOO cool!
Did you get to play yourself?
is there a certain number that he WILL stop at, I think by 10 you should end the world.
He's supposed to end the series at 12 books. So we'll see...
Actually, I think he's been aiming for 13 books all along, it seems to be a 'number of signifigance' in the series.
As for the 10th book, I've had the same conversation now twice, and might wind up having it a third time with Rob. Jordan is attempting to write an epic story without the conclusion being predictable, but completely foreshadowed. The only way I've seen for a writer to do that successfully is to include SO many characters and plot threads, including red herrings, that the mind simply can't follow all of them at once.
However, mostly due to boredom due to lack of other reading material, I've read the entire series, um, at least four times I think. When you do that, you begin to realize that there are items which are of signifigance that no one mentions. No characters go 'a-HAH! this is the big clue we've been waiting for!'. Instead, the major events usually pass quietly, often unrecognized by the primaries in the event itself.
Part of the reason the women have become annoying is pretty simple. The good ones have realized that the world isn't the place they believed it to be, which has made them doubt themselves. The evil ones are, well, evil. You're SUPPOSED to hate them, and as events head to a climax, they become less and less able to hide their true natures under a guise of civility.
Now, this won't mean anything to anyone who hasn't read the series, but for those of you who have and feel 'nothing happened in 10', off the top of my head and in no particular order
- Rand cleansed the source
- Egwene successfully seiged Tar Valon, although she was captured in doing so.
- At least one Forsaken was killed (Osen'Gar) and another was set up to be unmasked (Asen'Gar)
- Mat romanced Tuon (ok, not swords and sorcery action, but something still HAPPENED there)
- The Shaido Kidnapped Faile, and Perrin decided to ally with the Seanchan to rescue her
Now, that's just what I can remember off the cuff from a book I read once.
The problem is that Jordan is trying to write what realistically would happen if five people from a small village set out to save the world from certain destruction. Some people join them, some people work against them, and some of each of THOSE groups are so misguided, misinformed, or just plain incompetent that they wind up helping the side they're not on.
Now, for those of you who haven't read Jordan, one other thing - we aren't talking 13 250 page novels. Or even 13 500 page novels. We're talking about 13 books which are averaging around 900 pages at this point, with all evidence pointing toward the later ones being the longest.
Oh, and Rob - PLENTY happens in book 11. 9 and 10 were mostly set up for it, and 11 is around 1/2 action and 1/2 setup for 12.
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