Women should write this down...

I don't have anything important to say... but there has been a post in my head for a few weeks so I think today is a good day to let it out.

Let me preface this post by saying that I don't like "forwards" (when they pertain to e-mails). Everyone gets them. Your wife, mother, friend, etc sends you a joke or poem every time they get one in their inbox. If you keep track of e-mails then you'll begin to see the pattern of receiving the same stuff year after year. Anyway, that's not the point...

I got one of those a few weeks ago. It was one of those "Rules for women, by guys". And I really liked the rules. So I thought I'd share a few of them and delve deeper into the male mind. Here are my top 5 rules, in no particular order:

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

If you took any intro-psych course in college then you know that, in general, men and women ask advice for different reasons. Men will come to you with a problem because they want advice on how to fix it. Women will come to you with a problem and just want you to "listen". What's up with that? If you didn't want my advice then why the hell are you bothering me??

2. If we ask "what is wrong" and you say "nothing," then we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Guys, how many times has this happened to you? You know that your girlfriend is upset about something. But she says that nothing is wrong. AND THEN she gets mad at you for not trying to pry it out of her! If something is wrong then why don't you just tell us???

3. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

At this point in your lives, you should realize that men cannot be "trendy" on our own (unless you're a homosexual like Joe). We'll wear a brown belt with black shoes. We'll wear 2 different shades of black. And ya know what? We don't care! If you want us to dress better than you need to take the lead on this and buy us clothes.

4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Women seem to be masochists at heart. They think of a question that has 2 answers (usually yes or no). One of those answers will emotionally devastate them. the other will placate them. And for some unknown reasons, they ask us these questions! Do I look fat? Do you think that girl is cute? Did you sleep with my sister? Are we related by blood? These are all questions you should never ask.

5. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

I think this one is self-explanatory.

Ok, there are a lot of rules. But these were some of my favorite. Women, please take these to heart. Next week, I'll follow this with "what women mean when they say things". Tune in then.