Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry...

Bonus points to any non-Shawneegroup member who knows those lyrics...

The past few weeks of my life had one overriding theme: Wedding. As in, I was going to be in one (not as the groom... and no, not as the bride).

But, as any red-blooded american knows, you can't have a wedding until you've had the bachelor party. So let's talk about those. I've always been of the opinion that a bachelor party can come in two basic forms:

One, it can be filled with a combination of booze, gambling, and strippers. The goal here is to have one last wild night before clamping the "very realistic" ball-and-chain to your ankle. You hope that when you start to get bored with married life, you can sit back and remember that crazy night.

Two, your bachelor party can be about male bonding. You spend a night (or weekend) with the guys doing something manly, and eating something manly, and waxing manly poetic (hmm, that sounds dirty). A great example of this was a bachelor party I went to a few years ago where we played Paintball up in the mountains of PA and rented a cabin to stay the weekend.

Well, the bachelor party I attended last week was neither of these things. We went to Medieval Times. Yeah, I know... it isn't the first choice for most people. But ya know what? It was a lot of fun. We ate food without utensils. We called women "wenches". We even got to scream things like "Kill him!" And then we ended the night with some poker back at someone's house (for fun... not for money). All in all, a good way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

So let's fast-forward to the wedding. I wasn't the Best Man, but I did give the first speech (a few of the groomsmen stepped up for this).

I'd been thinking about that speech for months... seriously. It's really difficult to write one of those. You need to be funny, and also have a point, and also be sentimental.

The first part of your speech has to be the opening joke. I chose to say something which spoke highly of the bride, and made fun of the groom. That's usually a safe bet.

Then you need to either give advice or tell a story. I went for the story. I told everyone about the exact moment that I knew they would get married. I didn't think it was a nice story... I thought it was kind of insulting (they both messed up in a similar way one evening)... but 2 different women assured me that it was a cute story.

Lastly, you have to close with something sappy. Say something like "I just know you two will be together forever" (yawn).

And that's it. Easy.

Wait, I said earlier that it was really hard to write mine. I think I just insulted myself here. Crap.

Oh well, this has been another installment of Rob's randomness. Enjoy.