My mind wandered today. It churned through the memories of missed opportunities throughout my life. It lingered on the hopes and dreams that I'll likely never fulfill. It taunted me for not seizing the day and living life to its fullest. It reminded me that my life is linear and finite, and that I should chase some dreams before I'm too old to get out of bed in the morning.
My mind and I conversed a lot today.
A few months ago I had a friend who was trying to decide between going back to school for an MBA or taking a seminar/teaching position that recently opened up. They were both things that she wanted to do in her life, and it was just a matter of which would happen first. She was chasing her dreams.
This morning I spent some time reading a friend's blog. He is a cartoonist in LA. He loves to draw, so he took a leap of faith and hit the west coast. This past fall he won an Emmy for his work on a cartoon show. He was chasing his dreams.
Some might say that by working in a field that I love (computers), and by working towards 2 masters degrees, I am chasing my dreams. But I just don't feel that I am.
I'm the kind of person who likes to know and learn everything. But at the same time, I'm far too afraid to make that leap away from what is safe and familiar. There are things that I want to learn. But with each passing day, the chances of me pursuing these skills grow smaller and smaller.
So for my own Therapeutic purposes, here are the top 5 things (in no particular order) that I want to learn but probably won't:
1. Learn Spanish: When I was in high school I got pretty good at German. In college, I was awful at French (I spent the time staring at the gorgeous french TA). But I've always wanted to be able to converse with someone in another language. And I've found that I encounter more Spanish people than any other foreign type.
2. Learn to Draw: The ex roommate and I have a comic strip. I come up with a lot of the initial story-lines and create storyboards with stick figures. Then he re-draws it. But in my mind I can see every vivid detail of what I want the comic to look like. I just wish I could transfer that to paper.
3. Learn to write: When inspiration strikes, I can rant with the best of them. But I've always wanted to really learn how to be a good writer. I want to write scripts. After watching so many movies in my life I bet I could come up with a good script.
4. Learn to play the guitar: When I was younger I played the Clarinet in school. Then I took piano lessons. I wish I had kept up with either of them. But today I wish I could play the guitar. I even own 2 of them (anyone wanna buy a guitar??). But I just don't seem to have the time to put in to practicing.
5. Learn a Martial Art: I can give you a lot of altruistic reasons for wanting to learn a martial art, but it really comes down to wanting to know that I could beat someone up. Granted, the improved reflexes would be great. But I just want to know that if I was in a bar and some drunk guy swung at me, I could beat the crap out of him.
Now, at least 3 of these are readily accessible to me. I could take lessons or classes for them. Some I could even teach to myself. But it takes time and effort. And I don't know if I have enough of either.
My goal is that in the next 12 months I will at least make some attempt at one of these. I think that's reasonable. Wish me luck.
So my ever-present blog-ending question. Any of you guys or girls have similar dreams that you just don't think you'll ever do??
Sunday, April 13, 2008
I am Jack's lack of time and effort
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6 comments:
Good post, GREAT title :)
1. Violin/Cello-- By this point I should be content with music stuff. I've played piano since I was 5, and I've played the drums since I was 15, but I have yet to master a stringed instrument. I even bought a violin, but broke a string messing around on it.... need to get that fixed.
2. Japanese or Chinese-- I learned Spanish and it was pretty easy, so I think I can take on a "second, second language". Japanese is easier to pronounce, but Chinese is more useful I think.
3. Run a marathon --this has been a long-time goal. And the bottom line is that I suck at attaining it, even as much as I actually enjoy going to the gym. It's linked directly with my "lose weight" goal, but it's just one of those "I should be doing something else" issues.
4. Europe--Australia--Japan. I've only ever been to Mexico and Canada. It's time to get off this continent, I think.
5. Do a cartwheel, a handstand, a handstanding push-up, a backflip. For some reason, I have never learned how to do a simple cartwheel. Confession: the secret /actual/ goal embedded here is that I have always desperately wanted to learn how to breakdance. Like so, so badly.
My goal is to keep you from achieving your goals. So far, so good.
HA!
Hm... I somehow knew that all this wasn't my fault. that somehow someone was preventing me from completing my goals. Now I can rest easy :-)
Rob, excellent post!!
I always dreamed of .....
1) Directing a movie.
2) Drawing a comic book.
3) Animating a cartoon.
I've done some of those on a small scale, but I would love to go to a big city like LA or NY and make a living doing that stuff! Dreams are great, but they can suck too... a constant reminder of what you could have been, but aren't...Goodbye, cruel world...
Almost forgot....
4) Gangsta rap superstar - I come up with some crazy stuff while I'm driving to work. If you ever drive up next to me, and can read lips, let me know what you think of my lyrics :-)
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