In the past I've blogged about pivotal moments in a person's life. Situations where your decisions/actions will dictate the path you follow for a long time. Many times, I don't recognize these moments until it's over (and usually because I've made the wrong choice). But today I was given some advice - and I'm deciding how I will use it.
I was discussing a project with one of my managers. The project needed an IT Lead role; Someone who could run the show and also ensure that the technology solutions were aligned with the business needs. On a small scale, this is what I do every day. But this particular project was so big and important that they are getting someone with multiple decades of experience. The important bit of information about this story is that the job pays really really well. It's a lot higher than what I could get from a client.
Well, in a moment of frank discussion, my manager listed some things I should do to be in a position to make that kind of money some day. These were fairly straight forward suggestions. They included things like:
1. Always dress for the role you want to be in. So I should always wear a nice shirt and pants and a tie. Sometimes even a suit. This means no more "Casual Fridays".
2. General suggestions on finding the people in the company that can give me more projects and help me get ahead.
Most suggestions were like that. But then he brought up something which caught me off guard. He said that I needed to take out my ear-rings.
For those that don't know. I have two holes in my left ear. I got them when I was 14 and just never felt like removing them. These don't represent anything about me. They don't make a statement about my beliefs. They're just accessories.
...But I sorta thought that I'd always have them. And now I'm being told that if I want to get ahead in life then they need to go.
Now, this is just the example of a deeper issue. It's more about becoming an adult, selling out to the man, and the line between expanding who you are and losing your identity.
I had a sudden image of the leader of a Cult telling me that I can join them and have eternal happiness if I just drink the Kool-Aid - or sign my soul over to the devil.
I guess I'm just trying to decide if the advice was like "Hey here are some neat ways to improve yourself and get ahead in life." or "Hey, you don't fit in here so become this other person."
How much, in life, do you get involved in because you want to do it - Or because you think it will help your career?
One thing is certain. Image is important. Dating - Jobs - Politics - Celebrity... image is important. Anyone who says otherwise is stupid or ugly.
Maybe you just need to figure out what the end goal is... then it's easier to decide what you should do to get there. If I don't want to become a business person then adopting this lifestyle would be pretty foolish. But if this is what I want then it's stupid to think I can avoid these changes.
I don't think I have any questions at the end of this one for you readers out there. I just needed someone to listen for a few minutes while I made a public record of my personal thoughts...
Friday, April 04, 2008
A "Come drink the Kool-Aid" moment?
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3 comments:
One of my sisters has tattoos, piercings, the whole bit, and she's a very successful academic administrator... so I don't think you have to play the image game to get ahead. Especially when our generation takes over from the Baby Boomers in the higher-up positions.
Although on the other side of the spectrum, my oldest sister is squeaky clean--conformist extraordinaire--and she's getting promoted again in the State Department. But in her case that promotion means working in the US Embassy in Baghdad for the next year, in the throes of the green zone instability. So... I'm not sure if that's much of a reward.
Earrings, huh? Hmmm....
Yeah, that's a tough one. I have an earring that's been with me since I was 17. I don't want to part with it. But it's starting to do annoying things like snag on sweaters when I pull them over my head. That's just because it's old and banged up.
I had a belly button ring that was with me for about 7 years. It fell out one day on its own. That's the best way to part with something - when it leaves on its own.
But for someone to tell you to take them out, is another thing. Clothes are easy because once you leave for the day, you can change into your favorite jeans and T-shirt. And if you go out to happy hour in your suit, you'll look hot. Trust me, ladies love a man in a suit.
Why don't you investigate the issue further, and look into the company dress code. If there's something there about earrings, take 'em out. If not, keep them in! That's one way to approach it.
Also look into business sites to see what they say about male dress code at work. I tried it and found feedback suggesting it's become the norm rather than the exception. Hell, Ed Bradley had an earring, and he worked on national TV as a journalist for CBS! If Ed Bradley can wear an earring to work, so can you, my dear.
I say fight the power. Keep them.
Move to California. I hear things are way more relaxed out there. Yes, image is important. But I don't think an earing or two should really matter.
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