Chris Rock was right...

...with everything he said about the Champagne room...and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Well, I'm home. Las Vegas is the greatest place on earth. Did anything happen there that needs to stay there? Maybe. Am I going to tell you about the trip? Not really.

Today we talk about something better.
Today we enter a world where justice prevails.
Today I take you to a place the punishment fits the crime.
Today we go to...

THE ROB-NITED STATES.

yeah you heard me. If there's one thing I learned, while hanging out with Weng and Ronco in Vegas, it's that the world would be better off if I made all the rules.

It would be a Rob-ocracy where I would be the Rob-ocratically elected Supreme Leader.

Now, you might be asking yourself..."How is rob going to ascend to this angelic position?" Well that's a crappy question. And I'm not gonna answer it. I will say this, though...it involves some ice cubes, a 9-iron (golf club), and a buffalo; Live or stuffed...preferably stuffed...for safety sake (name that reference, bi-atch).

Let's move on to finer details. This new Rob-overment (sick of the word play yet?) will consist of 3 branches:

The Rob Branch - Mainly consisting of me. I rule everything. I have power over everything. I rule with an iron fist and a satin pillow. There will be a crack team of government officials underneath me that will do all of the real work but get no credit. No one will know they exist.

The judicial Branch - These people are the judges. They make and enforce all of the laws (after I approve them). Each law will have an expiration date of about 10 years after creation. that way, we will renew laws that we find helpful, and change ones that suck.

The Big brother branch - this is also called the ministry of propaganda and Morale. These are the people who make sure that the citizens never really know what's going on in the world. We'll constantly make up new enemies to unite against. If the people get sad then we'll throw them parties and send out hookers to bring up the happiness level.

Of course, there will also be a secret branch of my Rob-overnment. The secret ninja police. Whenever mal-contents threaten our way of life, my ninjas will sneak in and brutally murder the suspect. Then they'll sprinkle some crack on him and blame the crime on street gangs.

There's much more to my utopian way of life...but i haven't figured it out yet. Jail will certainly be different. We'll have some better plan of reformation. Jobs will be more fun too. These are all minor details in the grand scheme of my supreme reign over all Earth.

Ok, so none of that really made any sense. That's because I just got back from Vegas. I'm jet-lagged, sleep-deprived, and may carry more diseases than a $5 whore in a Leper colony. But I wanted everyone to know that I'm ok. I'll post some pictures in a few days.