Bodly go where no man has gone before...

Hi. I'm in...Delaware.

Today, my friends, is an important day in the life of your Rob-ocratically elected leader. Today, I have forsaken my fore-fathers and pledged loyalty to another State. The First State. Delaware.

Yes, it's true....even the unquestioned ruler of the world still has to be the citizen of a state. And it was not easy, no no. 3 horrible, terrifying, scary tasks were laid before me.

First, I had to submit myself to physical examination. They checked my body for any imperfections that might prevent me from joining their elite state. (read: I took an eye exam)

Next, I had to lay my entire fortune at the feet of one of their elders and inscribe my name upone a holy tablet that forever binds me to this place. (read: I wrote them a check for $12.50)

Lastly, they stole my soul and hid it inside of a machine so that they could forever control me. (read: they took my picture).

Oh the process took a long 3 days....of which I had no food or water. It was a passage into manhood. It tested my strength, determination, and resolve (no, not the carpet cleaner). But I overcame the obstacles...I jumped the hurdles (thank you Mr Williams...and my wife thanks you too)... and I emerged victorious.

I am now.....a resident of Delaware!