I lost my marbles

So as I sit here wondering what I could possibly write that would entertain my readers, something comes to mind. A story from my past. Something that I avoided telling until now. It's the story of how I took a bullet for President Hoover.

No wait...

I would never take a bullet for that bastard.

Besides, I wasn't even alive in the 1920's!

Instead, let's go back to the early 90's...

(Note: My flashback musicians were all stolen by YAB so please enjoy this little tune I made on my Casio keyboard)

*crappy flashback music that sounds just like 'chopsticks'*

In 1991, we were swept away by Robin Williams' amazing performance as Peter Pan in the movie Hook. I was 11 years old so this was one of the coolest movies I had ever seen.

Now, just as a side note: This story in no way involves me dressing up in green tights and jumping off of a roof. Actually, the story has almost nothing to do with Hook. I just like the lead in.

So moving on. Years came and went. In middle school I met a whole new group of friends with whom I would remain close for years to come. Each year, we would buy each other birthday and christmas presents. We didn't have much money so the goal was to buy something really funny or cool for the person. Then, of course, being 13 years old, we would give that person hints as to what we got him. And sometimes those hints were deceiving. For instance, one year we bought Weng a calendar (or maybe a poster) or Mariah Carey (or was it Daisy Fuentes?) and his hint was that it was "pink and frilly". For weeks, we had convinced him that we bought him a pink dress as a birthday present. Oh man! Good times....

So where was I? Oh right...presents....we're getting closer. One year, for his birthday or christmas, I bought Justin Ronco a gift. As a hint, I told him that it was something he lost. And on this special occasion, I presented Justin with a bag of marbles (HA! get it? come on, that's clever for a 13 year old). See, tying things back to Hook, one of the characters in the movie just crawled around the whole time saying that he had lost his marbles. Of course, in the movie, his bag of marbles were filled with pixy dust to make him fly. But I digress.

I believe I gave justin the gift for his birthday, which is in September. Because for my birthday, November, Justin's hint to me was that it was something I lost. And Lo and Behold, He gave me back the very same marbles. Well, I was not to be out-done, so the next month, for christmas, I gave them right back.

And so it went. We didn't exchange the marbles on every occasion. Sometimes one of us would hold on to them for a year or two, just for shock value.

Once we went to college, it became more difficult. We didn't buy each other gifts anymore, so the goal was to give the other person the bag of marbles without them knowing it. I would go visit Justin (he lived out in PA now)...and when I returned home, I'd find the marbles stuffed at the bottom of my backpack. Then he would visit me, and I would hide them in the trunk of his car. The longer you could get the person to go without knowing he had the marbles, the funnier it was upon discovery.

Well, I've had the marbles for a year or two. Until recently, that is.

Last year, Justin accepted a programming job at Microsoft in Seattle. Each year, on Memorial Day weekend, I fly out to visit him. So this year, I came prepared. One morning, as Justin was taking a shower, I shoved the marbles under his sofa. Not far enough back the he would never find them...but not far enough forward that he would stumble upon them anytime soon. And then, the next day, I flew home.

For weeks, I sat and laughed to myself. Oh how clever I was. How sneaky.

But then weeks turned into months...and I received no angry e-mail from justin. No phone call. No mysterious package in the mail. Nothing.

This reminds me of a Monty Python story. When they were on tour Eric Idle (I'm not sure if it was him) snuck into Michael Palin's room while he was out (not sure if it was Palin either) and he hid behind a dresser in the corner of the room. His plan was to wait for Palin to come back in, and then he would jump out and scare him. But Palin walked back into the room, and immediately got undressed and laid down in bed to read a book. Well, about a half hour passed and Eric Idle decided that the joke had gone sour....so he just stood up, got out from behind the dresser and said "well, that joke didn't work at all...I'll go now."

So anyway...back to me. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed some affirmation of my deviousness. So I sent Justin an e-mail in August. Mind you, this is over 2 months after my visit. I told him that I may have left something at his place. And could he please take a look under the sofa. My hint as to what I left was "It's something you lost."

Now another month has come and gone...and no word from Justin. I'm afraid. Either he is too busy at work to send me an e-mail...or he's plotting something. Something big. Like one day there will be a knock at my door....I'll answer it and some beautiful woman will be standing there...and then she'll just start pelting me with the marbles! Or maybe he's writing a computer virus that will put marbles all over my screen. I don't want to vent all of my fears because it may give him ideas.

So anyway, the moral of the story is...don't hide marbles under Justin Ronco's sofa.