One thing I always try to work on is being a perceiver instead of a judger. I try to see the other person's side of things. I try to see why they think what they think. Because once you figure that out, you can better choose your next action.
That's why it's important to remember that our past experiences shape how we perceive events in the future. In layman's terms, we always carry around baggage.
I was watching a movie tonight that is mediocre at best. It's called Bart Got a Room. It's a comedy about a kid who is trying to find a date to his senior prom, but keeps failing. Imagine a PG "family friendly" version of American Pie and that's pretty much this movie. It wasn't very good. And about half way through I started to really dislike it, and almost turned it off. Now, if you know me at all, you know that I almost never turn off a movie. I like to know how something finishes.
So as I began analyzing WHY I was suddenly so unhappy with this movie, it came to me. I hated my prom. And I didn't much like high school. So I'm carrying around this baggage, and it's affecting my opinion of this movie.
Normally, this is where I would launch into my tale of woe. But the problem is that I couldn't start there. I'd have to back up to the girl I was dating. But I couldn't start there either. I'd have to back up to the girl I was dating before that. And then maybe the girl I was dating before that. And before I knew it, I'd be telling you the story of my birth.
In short, it's just too complicated of a story. And it's not really the point.
The point is that whenever you have a sudden negative feeling about something, take a second to find out why you feel that way. Because you may be judging something, or someone, unfairly due to your own prejudice.
And one final thought. There is a line near the end of the movie where the main character says "You can't plan your memories. The best ones just happen." and I thought that was pretty interesting. There are so many moments in our lives that we try to plan down to the letter. But how many of them really work out how we want? And how many of your favorite memories are just these random moments that you didn't see coming?
I think it means we should spend less time planning life, and more time enjoying it.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
You can't plan your memories
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I disagree with your conclusion, but not in a you're-a-fruit-loop kind of way. More in a slightly-off-IMAO kind of way.
I agree that too many people get hung up on their plans, and wind up missing out on wonderful things that are happening. I'm falling prey to that on a near-daily basis now, what with the unemployment thing. Thankfully, I've got two kids who are determined to get my attention, which would be the good thing that I'd otherwise miss.
Where I disagree is that I also see people, myself included, who just give up on planning, or never make any plans in the first place, for whatever reason. Wandering through life like that can be fun at times, but eventually you wind up stuck, where everyone is asking 'where were you heading' and the honest answer is 'wherever the wind takes me'. When the wind stops blowing, you've got to have a direction.
I think what needs to happen is that people need to be less emotionally invested in the plans they make. Make them, try to follow them, but if live intervenes, go where it takes you and adjust your plans accordingly.
Y'know, the zen thing.
Post a Comment