More picky as Dating Pool Shrinks

Do you remember the first few people you dated back in high school? There's always at least one person that you shake your head at. You spent a few months with them before realizing that it just wasn't going to go anywhere. But maybe they had a cool car, or seemed dark and brooding. Because that's all it took back then. Just one little thing to make you want to waste months with that person.

Today is different. Now we have an image in our heads of the person we want to marry. And if someone doesn't fit that mold on the first date (or even before the first date) then we kick them to the curb.

Our standards are getting higher as we get older.

But doesn't that seem contrary to what should be happening? I mean, the dating pool is shrinking every day (assuming more people are getting married than divorced... and that the "good catches" are staying married). So shouldn't we be lowering our standards? Shouldn't we be getting ready to settle? Ya know, maybe our partner doesn't need to have a 150 I.Q. and a super model's body.

But here are 2 very valid reasons why this happens.

One, we're now more aware of our mortality. We realize that the next person we date may be the person we spend the rest of our lives with. Back in college, you just dated someone for fun. There were no worries of the future. Just young hormonal emotions. So you could say that we're being smarter than we were before.

Two, now that we've dated a slew of contenders, we at least know what kind of person we DON'T want to be with. We're tired of the deadbeats that never want to go out and have fun. We're tired of the person who argues all the time. We don't want the person who is married to their career.

Now here's the problem I'm seeing with #2. It's happening to people younger and younger. I've spent some time on CraigsList (I know - not exactly a proper sample size for the healthy dating pool) and I'm seeing women in their early 20's already being super picky. They have one bad relationship and now they think they know exactly what they want from life. And I'm a little worried that they won't find it. And then they'll settle. And then they'll get married. And then they'll realize their mistake and get divorced.

I don't really know where I'm going with all of this. Perhaps it's just a ramble. There's a little more to it from my personal experience but I'm not at liberty to share.

I'm just worried that we're becoming a disposable society. You decide that you want a certain kind of person and then you get it and get married. And then you decide that you want something else and so you get a divorce and start all over.

If divorce attorneys were a publicly traded stock then I'd be putting my life savings in it...