Some call me the Ganster of Love

WARNING: I may have posted about this before. I'll check later on.

Sometimes it's hard to find the right opening for a blog. Something catchy. Something flashy. Something that increases the chances of Joe Shmoe staying to read the rest. In high school, I ran for Student Council Vice President. Ya wanna know why? It was because you got to give a speech over the PA system during homeroom. Every person in the school would hear you. The very first line of my speech was, "Let's talk about sex." which is a risque way to start a speech when you're 16. I lost the election, but I sure had fun doing it. And thinking about that story gives me an idea of how this post should begin (I know, too late)...

I'm single again.

Yes, that's right. We are no longer Rob and J-Love. It's just Rob. But don't worry, this post isn't about that. But that detail will be important later on. And no, I'm not going to go into the sordid details of our break-up. Let me just say that it was amicable, and we hope to be friends again once the wounds heal.

Now tuck that away for a few minutes and let's move on.

I know a girl. I've never spoken to her. Never heard her voice. Never seen her in person. I know this girl through the web. We both loiter in some of the same virtual places, so it was bound to happen eventually. We haven't spoken much, but we've traded blog links and therefore share our thoughts quite often.

Now here is where that previous detail comes in to play. When I changed my Facebook status to "single" she sent me a message asking how I was doing. I believe she had recently gone through a break-up as well so we talked about that for a while.

Now we're getting closer to the point at hand. Just recently, this girl sent me an IM and offered me a ticket to a sporting event that she and a few friends were going to. I had something else on my agenda for that particular time so I had to turn her down.

I need to ask a question here: When you read that last paragraph, what did you read in to the situation? Did you think that she was asking me out?

I'm writing the blog because that was the first thing that I thought as well. And then I was a little mad at myself for having thought that right away. She had never given an indication that she wanted anything more than a friend to talk to... and yet I assumed that because I was a guy and she was a girl, that she must obviously be trying to date me.

And it's not that I'd have a problem dating her. That's not what this is about. It's the fact that I think most people make this assumption when someone of the opposite sex acts in an out-going manner towards them.

A few months ago I was at the gym when the lady on the Elliptical machine next to me just started talking. She asked me a question about the gym, but then just kept talking. So when I got home from the gym, the first thing I said to J-Love was "This lady at the gym was hitting on my today." But all she was talking about was the gym and her job. She never gave any indication of trying to ask me out or flirt with me. Maybe she just wanted a new friend. Maybe she liked meeting people.

This is something I think about a lot. It's difficult to be friends with the opposite sex. Or at least difficult to "become" friends.

I wish I could just talk to a woman in a coffee shop for no particular reason. Not hit on her. Not ask for her number. Just chat. and then leave. Maybe this should be a new goal for me. To try talking to a new random person each week. But to not be annoying... like a certain tiny shawnee grad I know...

Ok, just to jump back, I don't know if that girl was trying to ask me out or not when she offered the sports tickets. I suppose that if she was then she might try again. Of course, she also reads this blog so she now knows what I'm thinking. So I've corrupted the experiment. Oh well, maybe she'll just tell me.