Advice for a First Date: A Woman's Perspective

NOTE:
The following is a guest blog written by Maggie Q. Yesterday I posted my version of this story so if you haven't read it yet then go HERE. Otherwise read on. I haven't changed anything except for replacing my actual name with my online name (Trip Thomas). I realize that my blog isn't exactly anonymous but I'd like to keep random googlers from finding it when they search for me.

A guest blog on dating & relationships, from Trip's much better half.

The boy suggested I write a guest blog on relationships.

So much to say on such a broad topic.

Does he want me to blog about relationships in general, or about our relationship in particular? Or about me? Well, maybe I'll talk about our first date so that the boys that read this can get some insight via a girl's point of view.

Let's see. So we met on the internet. Some people are embarrassed to admit this, and I'm really not, as it's pretty common these days and You've Got Mail with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan came out over a decade ago. I think. So while I'm not embarrassed about this, I admit that it's a pretty boring "how we met" story. Sometimes I like to say "We met at church. It was an abstinence workshop." Because knowing both of us, that would be an awesome "how we met" story.

(Some people don't get my humor because they can't tell if I'm joking or not. I totally abuse this.)

The truth is, we met in person for the first time in front of a Happy Harry's Drugstore. He was on his iphone, Facebooking, probably something about how he was about to go on a first date with this incredibly awesome girl he met on the internet and really hoped that she wasn't really fat.

Because some people post old pictures of themselves on their dating profiles from way before they got fat.

I was actually going to contact Trip a couple months before I actually did because I liked his dating profile. Until I saw that one of his photos was of him and an ex-girlfriend. Who does that?!

Anyway, we met in front of Happy Harry's. He had bought some gum at Happy Harry's because he was hoping that the date would go well, and then we would get to make out at the end. He never told me this, I just knew. All girls know this: whenever a guy offers you gum or a mint towards the end of a date, it means he wants to kiss you. Though I didn't know at the beginning of the date that that was what he bought at Happy Harry's.

I liked him right away. Turns out that some of the photos that HE posted on his profile were pretty old but luckily he hadn't gotten fat since they were taken. Because you know what? I don't go for fat guys either. I am sure somewhere in this blog he has rambled about how he doesn't date fatties. Or ugly chicks.

I already knew I would like him because he was the only guy I met online who made me laugh out loud over an email. It's amazing how many people out there can't write for shit and I'm a grammar snob, so it was refreshing to meet someone else who could not only write well but make me laugh really hard before we even met in person.

It was about a concept for a zombie "adult movie." I guess that was my pick-up line in response to something he said in his profile, and it got his attention. So I liked his personality and was really hoping that he wasn't a troll in person. I mean, I signed up for this dating website about a year ago now and had met 10 other guys in person before Trip. So I've had my share of guys who seemed cool over email and looked nothing like their profile picture. Like they've turned out fatter or have a full beard. Or are shorter than advertised.

Because I'm a total height snob too. But I put that in my dating profile. I've learned that guys who are under 6 feet tall tend to add about 2 inches to their actual height, whereas guys who are 6'1" or taller are usually truthful because they don't need to lie. I'm almost 5'9" but I put that I am 5'8". So when a guy who is 5'10" says that he is 6' it is SO obvious when we meet in person.

So this Trip guy was actually tall like he said he was. As I was saying, I already knew I really liked his personality and thought he was funny over email but was hoping he wasn't a troll. He wasn't a troll at all. I thought he was really cute but over the course of this first date, he tells me a few terrible jokes. But he was super cute so I laughed. There were some that were actually funny, but I still laughed at the ones that weren't so funny because he was cute.

It's kind of like when a guy is hitting on you at a bar. If he's hot, it really doesn't matter what the pickup line is. But if he's a troll, it also really doesn't matter what the pickup line is.

Then again, I have to admit that I like bad jokes. And bad movies too, like Snakes on a Plane. (That was hilarious! Yet so terrible!) So clearly we were meant for each other.

I think our first date lasted over 9 hours because we started at 3 in the afternoon at a pumpkin patch and corn maze, and kept wanting to do more stuff. So we also had dinner and then went to get some post-dinner/pre-movie drinks, then went to a movie.

By the end of the date, I could tell he liked me because of three things:
1. halfway through the date he had already asked me out to a second AND a third date. (Who does that?!) The second date involved meeting all his friends. I'm thinking he must really like me if he already wants me to meet his friends. Either that or he's some man-whore who always asks girls to meet his friends on the second date.
2. when we were trying to figure out what to do after dinner, he said "it's too bad we haven't been dating longer because..." This was with regards to carving the pumpkins; if we'd been dating longer, he would've invited me over to his place to carve the pumpkins. So I figured he *wasn't* a man-whore because if he was, he would've invited me over to his place on the first date. Right?
3. the gum thing. He offered me gum because he totally wanted to make out with me.

Of course by the end of the date there's that "do we kiss or not" moment. I like when it's the guy who makes the move because you aren't always sure if they like you or not. So the confusing part is that OBVIOUSLY this guy likes me, but he's not making the move. Later I find out it's because he's got the fear of going in for the kiss and having the girl kind of duck away, like when Jason Segal goes for Mila Kunis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Jesus, Trip. Man up!

Anyway, this first date story is from my point of view, right? So maybe even though it was obvious to me that he liked me, it wasn't obvious to him that I liked him. And I wanted to kiss him, dammit. I mean, this might just be me, but if there's no first date kiss then there is clearly not enough chemistry to warrant having a second date. Sure, go have a second date, but don't be surprised if he turns out to be a prude who apologizes when you brush hands. Screw that. Did I go onto this dating website to find my gay best friend? No.

So I kissed him because he wouldn't stop rambling about something, since he was being too much of a girl to make the first move. I'm not sure why he would think I didn't like him enough to want to kiss him, I mean there were plenty of bailout options throughout the date if I didn't like him.

A girl does not go out with a guy for 9 hours if she doesn't want to kiss him at the end of the date!!

Well that was about two months ago. I think it's only fair that we get Trip's side of the story now.

The end.